Kevin loved Halloween as a boy. But as he grew older, he became frightened. 

Why is he so afraid of Halloween?

  Because every year someone knocks on his door and instead of a door-to-door salesman, it's ... CHILDREN! 

  His older, fatter brother told him that if you eat too many Hershey bars you'll lose your hair. 

  His older, thinner sister told him that was a lie, everyone knows too much candy makes your ankles wrinkle prematurely. 

  Last year when he handed out sticks of sugar-free gum, a little girl kicked him in the shins. 

  When he was 14, he caught a bad cold waiting in a pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin to appear. 
  Two words: pumpkin guts!                  

  He hates it when he eats all the Halloween candy he bought in September and has to go back and buy more in October. 

 But what really scares him is...
 

   

 

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