Kevin has always wanted a garden of his own. Now, as a big time movie star, he can afford to buy a place in the country and have a garden. But he's no Martha Stewart and plans to do everything himself. There will be no over-paid staff of gardeners for the spaceman. No sir-ree! Once you climb over the electrified fence, creep past the guard tower, tiptoe past the dogs,  swim across the  moat, and crawl around the side of the house, what will be Kevin be doing?

He'll be tripping over a hose. 

He'll get warts from tickling that frog. 

He'll step in a gopher hole and twist his 
ankle. 

Develop a rash from using too much Bug Off spray. 

He's got a stitch in his side from running from a chipmunk. 

He's got an infection from a grabbing a rose by it's thorny stem. 

He's getting high on rose and flower dust. 

BIG RABBIT!!! Did that blood curdling scream come from Kevin?! 

He's feeling sick since he cut that worm in half with a trowel. 

He's turning in his neighbors for growing the devil's weed in their garden. 

He's somehow tied himself to the tomato stakes. 

Kevin's no helpless novice. He's read A Dummies Guide to Gardening. Twice! 

Kevin doesn't really like going outside. He has delicate skin and bad allergies. 

He'd rather be found sitting in a screened porch drinking martinis.

He has a bad case of powdery mildew.