Stuck In The City
May 12, 2007 - Evening -
KevieBear reminisces with the lady from PA about the afternoon's excitement when he finally met his idol, Kevin Spacey, after years of trying and hoping.
Wasn't that the moment of a lifetime? He was thrilled to meet me, did you notice? Did you sense the connection we made? Two brilliant artists sharing a moment in time. Artistic soul mates, if you will. That's probably why we look so much alike. It was almost like looking in a mirror. I'm sure he's going to want me in his next movie or perhaps his next play in London. Time to make plans. I'll need new luggage, an assistant, a personal secretary, a private plane would make things easier too. I'll need a top of the line trailer for location shoots. And my own driver. Someone will no doubt want to start a fan site, so let's be sure to have my attorney snap up all the possible domains. I'll probably want to start a web site about my travels too. My fans will be wanting to read all about me.
Hmmm. Who told Spacey to use this picture in the Playbill? Not his best if you ask me. I'll have to give him some pointers on that kind of thing. That reminds me, before I leave for London I'll need to have a stack of glossies printed up. I'll sign them all while I'm on the plane. My fans will be clamoring for them "across the pond" as they say.
What's so funny?
As I was saying before you interrupted with your strange laughter, you'll need to contact my agent and my manager n the morning and ... what did you say? You're going home in the morning?? But, but... what about ME? I can't leave town until I hear from Kev.
Kev. You know! Kevin Spacey? Of course he's going to be calling me. He's probably having the contracts drawn up right now. Why do you keep laughing like that? As I was saying, I can't leave... you're leaving without me? But, if you leave, who's going to pay for my hotel?
Oh. Well, it's been fun (sniff, sniff) while it lasted. Say hi to the big cats and the hairy pig when you get home. You've pre-paid the bill, right? Don't forget to call the front desk. I'll be needing a wake-up call in the morning not to mention room service for breakfast.
I'd better call my editor. The paper will probably pay for everything. Sigh. And we were having so much fun together!
KevieBear calls his editor who was very angry that he blew off his assignment to have fun.
Ouch! My ears must be bleeding after all that profanity! I haven't heard words like that since my brother said he was quitting his third year at the two-year community college and moving back home. Mom really shouldn't have cursed like that.
I would never have avoided my editor's calls and emails if I'd known she wanted me to go to the theater, meet and talk to Spacey fans and then conduct an interview she had set up with Kevin Spacey! Why didn't she tell me what the real assignment was instead of teasing me with all that moon talk?? Now she says I have to pay my own way home.
That's just great. And how am I supposed to do that? I don't have any money. I hope I don't have to sell my body! Why do these things always happen to me?
Don't forget to leave the Do Not Disturb sign on the door in the morning. I hate it when someone wakes me up before I'm ready. I wonder what my bud Kev's doing right now? He's probably thinking that if I were his understudy, he could take a night off. Oh well. There's no rest for the weary.
Tomorrow I'll have to get a job or something to pay for my trip home. I wonder if the New York Times needs an ace reporter for a few days? I'll call them first. I wonder what I should call my web site?
I'm so sleepy. I'd better get to bed.
Driving Mr. Spacey!: The positively untrue life and times of Kevin Spacey, with a few real facts thrown in for fun. All collages and photo enhancements were done by me using Microsoft® Picture It!® 99
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